10 Things I Learned in the First 10 Months of Marriage

It's true what they say, marriage is completely different than anything you've ever experienced.

The day we got married, I felt a shift in our relationship almost right away. I've never quite understood the concept of oneness until we said our vows to each other. It's kind of hard to describe in words but I really did experience a new level of intimacy and this deep connection that I've never felt before.

Patrick and I have been married for exactly 10 months now and I think it's safe to say, we've learned more about each other than ever before. We're still a newly wed so this post isn't about giving wise marital advice or anything like that. This is still a very new thing for us but here are some things that I learned in our first 10 months of marriage. 

1. Marriage is really chill

More often than none, you hear people say that marriage is hard or that it changes things. Now I'm not saying it's a piece of cake, but it's a lot easier than I thought it would be. Marriage is just doing life with your best friend and who doesn't want that? You get to celebrate each others' achievements as well as go through tough seasons together. Life has its ups and downs but the great thing is that your ride-or-die has your back. 

2. Be a good listener, be attentive

Communicating is an integral component of any good relationship and being a good listener is just as important. This requires being attentive not only when talking to each other but also being aware of each other's body language and nonverbals. 

3. Dream chasers

Sometimes I'll share a far fetched aspiration of mine and Pat will automatically begin calculating how and when we can get there. It was a little surprising at first but I realized how awesome it is to be with someone who can visualize your goals with you. Be with someone who will partner with you as you chase your dreams and make sure you support theirs too.

4. $pending + $aving

Know where your money is going and be wise about your spendings. Now that we're homeowners, we're more aware of our monthly bills and spendings. Honestly, this is something we can definitely improve on but we realize how important it is to sit down and budget together.

5.  Be the cheerleader & the coach

I am Patrick's biggest cheerleader as he is mine but it doesn't mean we don't push each other. We're totally honest when we feel like one person is slacking but make sure to say it with grace. Never stop challenging one another and always build each other up.

6. Pass the hot sauce

Some people like to hold hands in bed or give forehead kisses in the morning. Whatever it is, keep things romantic and never stop flirting! Patrick and I have been blessed with a large master bath with two built-in shower heads so showering together is a part of our daily routine ;)

7. Combine forces

Pat and I have totally different strengths. One practical way we've been able to bring them together is through our projects around the house. I'm definitely more visual and design oriented while Patrick is the handyman. I'll share with him what I've been dreaming up for that corner of the house and he'll help make it happen.

8. Toss the scoreboard

This one's a toughie because we all do this. It's SO easy to keep count of who did the dishes or took out the trash but keeping score is just a losing game. Firstly, it robs you of the joy of serving one another and second, you won't be happy even if the expectation is met. Do yourself a favor and throw away the scoreboard ASAP.

9. Giving each other space

Patrick and I love our mornings and evenings together but I'm very grateful for the time in between when we are at our respective jobs. Even on days that Pat works from home, we work in separate rooms to let each other do our own thing. 

10. Cuddling is good for the soul, do it often

Need I say more?


The security that comes with marriage is comforting but I've learned that it also comes with a lot of responsibility. In these past 10 months, I've learned that stewarding a good marriage requires intentionality, sacrifice and patience. I hope to continue to grow in each of these areas and am so thankful I get to life with my #patnuhincrime <3